April 22, 2012
Amateur?
I'm inspired by amateur street performers because they are bold and unafraid to perform in public, even if there are no audience and even if they don't get paid. These people are really in for their passion.
April 15, 2012
A Lesson On Humility
What happens when something you thought so sure comes right back to smack you on the face?
I believe God was teaching me precisely about that in the last weekend itself.
Looking back, I realised I was like the fox that ate sour grapes. I was not confident but I pretended to be.
What happens when everything you are sure of gets stripped away?
Then you are left in that empty shell of nothingness.
I went out pretentious, I left with brokenness.
Looking back, God was teaching me that failures are inevitable. Things can break me. I may not be as strong as I appear to be. Because that is when God precisely wants me to look to Him and depend fully on Him. COMPLETELY.
I'm so used to successes that when failures come I am shocked. But I think He wants to strip my false confidence away and reveal what an ass I can really be, then truly be so broken that He can use me.
Forgive me Lord for being so proud. You alone are to be glorified and I am really but a wretch. But Your grace is sufficient for me and You bring down the proud but lifts the lowly. Those who fear You, You will not forsake. Lord I am in anguish but I know You are teaching me that failing doesn't mean it's the end of the world. I know You are teaching me to accept failures and defeats with grace and humility. Help me to work harder. Help me to practice day in day out. Help me to be humble and be compassionate. Break the pride within me. In the end, all is for You. It's Your glory that I should pursue, not mine. Teach me that Lord.
I believe God was teaching me precisely about that in the last weekend itself.
Looking back, I realised I was like the fox that ate sour grapes. I was not confident but I pretended to be.
What happens when everything you are sure of gets stripped away?
Then you are left in that empty shell of nothingness.
I went out pretentious, I left with brokenness.
Looking back, God was teaching me that failures are inevitable. Things can break me. I may not be as strong as I appear to be. Because that is when God precisely wants me to look to Him and depend fully on Him. COMPLETELY.
I'm so used to successes that when failures come I am shocked. But I think He wants to strip my false confidence away and reveal what an ass I can really be, then truly be so broken that He can use me.
Forgive me Lord for being so proud. You alone are to be glorified and I am really but a wretch. But Your grace is sufficient for me and You bring down the proud but lifts the lowly. Those who fear You, You will not forsake. Lord I am in anguish but I know You are teaching me that failing doesn't mean it's the end of the world. I know You are teaching me to accept failures and defeats with grace and humility. Help me to work harder. Help me to practice day in day out. Help me to be humble and be compassionate. Break the pride within me. In the end, all is for You. It's Your glory that I should pursue, not mine. Teach me that Lord.
April 12, 2012
Gifted
This boy is so young yet his voice packs a punch. At the same time, you know that this is not just a voice, it's a gift. Blown absolutely away by this kid. And what does he do with his voice? He praises God, the One who gave him the voice. When I hear him singing, I can't help but acknowledge that this is not just human effort. This is God-anointed.
So inspiring, so humbling, so thankful for voices that are used to praise God. May he continue to praise God with his voice, because God deserves the best.
Yes, I said it like that. God deserves the best.
April 10, 2012
Summer Is Over
But summer is over
We were tangled in the morning sun
Felt you getting colder
And we knew that we would come undone
And it’s back to my town, back to your life
Gray skies are blowing a kiss goodbye to the lovers
‘Cause summer is over.
- Summer Is Over, Jon McLaughlin ft. Sara Bareilles
April 09, 2012
Whatever you do, do it for the glory of God
Last weekend was one of the most celebrated events of the Christian tradition. After 40 days of Lent, starting from Ash Wednesday, we had Palm Sunday just the weekend before and then came the most important event: Good Friday and Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday.
Every year Christians would celebrate this day as it is the very event that laid the foundations of Christianity - the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, defeating sin and death through the cross and through His resurrection.
This year I was slated to perform for the Easter skit.
I can honestly say I wasn't thrilled about it at first. Not because of the weight of Easter, but because I just didn't want to get myself involved in another production so soon after Christmas. Maybe because I didn't want to be tied down to just performing in church alone.
But over the course of a month that we took to prepare for this, I am moved from a reluctant participant to one who could rejoice in my participation.
God has His mysterious ways.
When I first got the part, I was really feeling a little depressed about missed opportunities. I had just auditioned for a few companies by sending my demo in, but when I sent out the emails, I knew I wasn't going to get it. And I was right. But it left me feeling dejected nonetheless, hence when I was called to sing for Easter, I wasn't feeling enthusiastic at all. I was, in other words, drained and tired.
Then I went for the first rehearsals, still dragging my virtual feet, when I first tasted the grace of God. I started to see a sparkle of passion and enthusiasm the cast had and being in love with the theatre, it was a small delight to see the planning. But I was still largely disinterested.
Then I flew off to Korea for a trip. There, my mom made a remark about thanking God for opportunities and even when you don't feel like serving, you go in with a willing heart nonetheless. Those words pricked me as I reflected on her words. It was true. This is an opportunity to sing and this is for God. People in church are giving me the opportunity and I shouldn't waste it. I didn't ask for this, it was given. So I must serve. Willingly.
When I came back to another bout of rehearsals, I still haven't found my guitarist, so I remembered my new found friend who played for us during Christmas and he immediately said yes. Honestly I was unsure about his acoustic guitar skills since he plays electric guitar most of the time for worship service. But there was that faith in me that knew he could do the job. I remembered his passion and willingness to serve and that inspired me more, especially after we locked down the songs and started practicing.
As I see the production and the story just taking its shape, I was no longer disinterested. Somehow my passion came back and I was determined to make the most out of this God-given opportunity. Then a challenge came. I had to act while I sing. Theatrical singing is never just singing. It requires much more, it requires a certain amount of acting. To me, the first song I had to sing, which was a hymn, was by far one of the most difficult songs I've had to convey. How do you sing "Were You There" in 4 stanzas and coloring it differently for each? I voiced my concern to my director who thought it's not something that I can't do.
Remembering Christmas' production last year, he had faith that I could pull off the acting. I knew I could but it was difficult nonetheless. Last year I had a duet partner. This year I was completely alone. With only a guitar. Last year I at least had a pianist, a violinist and a bassist as well. So I was greatly distressed. And so I knew I had to practice harder. Not only so, since this was an Easter skit, it is bigger! It is about Christ dying and resurrecting again! This is the foundations of our faith and the best time to convey that to non-believers. My concern was that how do I deliver a song that would draw people to Him?
After the first full dress rehearsal, the director really liked my performance, but my weakness is that my performance may be alright now, but during the real day, I would be all nerves and that would be not cool at all.
But my director said something prior to the rehearsals. He said that we are all cracked vessels. None of us are perfect and so we need to let the Holy Spirit fill in the cracks and the gaps.
He was right. It's not my show. It's not about how well I can cry and stifle my voice to imitate a crying voice. It's about serving God and just giving our best to Him. We are not perfect, but God can use the imperfections and make it something totally out of the ordinary.
And I had to sing my lines in phrases so I couldn't take breaths in between words that aren't a phrase. And that was difficult. I had to challenge myself further technically. How do I balance between technical and emotions?
I couldn't do it for the next few final rehearsals so I had to switch the key of the songs, probably exasperating my poor guitarist friend. I still couldn't do it. This was when God provided me with help, in the form of my cell member, who is a professional singer. I have never really talked to her about singing because either my pride was in the way, or what I don't know, but I thought it was awkward to ask about singing techniques and stuff. I didn't think many would be so willing to help. But she did, bless her heart. She gave me some tips, rather, reminded me of the basics which I had already known but have forgotten.
Armed with tips and new strength from God, I could finally do it. Then comes the emotions part again. Finally I surrendered everything to Christ telling Him that He would have to help me on that. Because I know I can't do it on my own.
Again, God works in mysterious ways.
Before the shows on the real day, I prayed that God will use us mightily as vessels for His glory. We've had two performances. One on Saturday and one on Easter Sunday itself.
I didn't do technically well on both days. Sunday was the worst.
Funny when sometimes you pray for God to help to hit the pitch correctly, you'd miss them? Yeah, it was like that. Saturday I was almost outdone by my nerves though it got better. And I knew the emotions were there as well.
But Sunday.
Sunday was a different story. Somehow maybe the day of resurrection itself struck a chord within me, but I was suddenly in a frenzy of emotions. I was feeling teary even before I stepped onto the stage. And so I struggled to control the emotions. But the emotions came flooding out bit by bit, through the unstability of my pitch and then ended off with a total grief. I did not cry nor did tears flow, but my heart was really a mess.
Looking back, I really didn't know what happened except I was reminding myself that I need to color my stanzas. I need to hit the pitch. But the emotions part, really how it came to be, still boggles me. I can only explain that God was working in me as He is working in the hearts of those who listened.
I thought back to the cross when Jesus died, how He died a painful death, for our sins. On Good Friday, He died for our pride, our sins and our selfishness. Then when He was laid in the tomb, it was the finality. Someone who loved us so much, died for us.
When it was time to sing the second song which was about Christ, a risen Savior, I was still reeling from the emotions of the first song. But I had to remind myself that Christ has risen and Christ has overcome. That day I could sing those lyrics true to my heart. Though my pitch failed, though I was technically weaker than Saturday, I could testify that God is truly stronger and that Christ has really overcome.
After the service, many people came up to me and was commenting on how powerful the first song was. I could only credit it back to God. I remember after singing the first round, I murmured a quick confession to God that I wasn't focused on Him but was thinking about my techniques and the coloring of the stanzas. On Saturday I had relied on Him but Sunday it seemed as if I forgot.
And God works in mysterious ways.
I could only say that this experience caused me to acknowledge that He alone deserves the glory. I always believed that with my weakness in my technicalities, God will somehow use me anyway. This gift and these opportunities to sing will always be credited back to God only because without Him, I wouldn't have done it.
So all in all, it's Christ alone. The One who deserves all the glory.
Every year Christians would celebrate this day as it is the very event that laid the foundations of Christianity - the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, defeating sin and death through the cross and through His resurrection.
This year I was slated to perform for the Easter skit.
I can honestly say I wasn't thrilled about it at first. Not because of the weight of Easter, but because I just didn't want to get myself involved in another production so soon after Christmas. Maybe because I didn't want to be tied down to just performing in church alone.
But over the course of a month that we took to prepare for this, I am moved from a reluctant participant to one who could rejoice in my participation.
God has His mysterious ways.
When I first got the part, I was really feeling a little depressed about missed opportunities. I had just auditioned for a few companies by sending my demo in, but when I sent out the emails, I knew I wasn't going to get it. And I was right. But it left me feeling dejected nonetheless, hence when I was called to sing for Easter, I wasn't feeling enthusiastic at all. I was, in other words, drained and tired.
Then I went for the first rehearsals, still dragging my virtual feet, when I first tasted the grace of God. I started to see a sparkle of passion and enthusiasm the cast had and being in love with the theatre, it was a small delight to see the planning. But I was still largely disinterested.
Then I flew off to Korea for a trip. There, my mom made a remark about thanking God for opportunities and even when you don't feel like serving, you go in with a willing heart nonetheless. Those words pricked me as I reflected on her words. It was true. This is an opportunity to sing and this is for God. People in church are giving me the opportunity and I shouldn't waste it. I didn't ask for this, it was given. So I must serve. Willingly.
When I came back to another bout of rehearsals, I still haven't found my guitarist, so I remembered my new found friend who played for us during Christmas and he immediately said yes. Honestly I was unsure about his acoustic guitar skills since he plays electric guitar most of the time for worship service. But there was that faith in me that knew he could do the job. I remembered his passion and willingness to serve and that inspired me more, especially after we locked down the songs and started practicing.
As I see the production and the story just taking its shape, I was no longer disinterested. Somehow my passion came back and I was determined to make the most out of this God-given opportunity. Then a challenge came. I had to act while I sing. Theatrical singing is never just singing. It requires much more, it requires a certain amount of acting. To me, the first song I had to sing, which was a hymn, was by far one of the most difficult songs I've had to convey. How do you sing "Were You There" in 4 stanzas and coloring it differently for each? I voiced my concern to my director who thought it's not something that I can't do.
Remembering Christmas' production last year, he had faith that I could pull off the acting. I knew I could but it was difficult nonetheless. Last year I had a duet partner. This year I was completely alone. With only a guitar. Last year I at least had a pianist, a violinist and a bassist as well. So I was greatly distressed. And so I knew I had to practice harder. Not only so, since this was an Easter skit, it is bigger! It is about Christ dying and resurrecting again! This is the foundations of our faith and the best time to convey that to non-believers. My concern was that how do I deliver a song that would draw people to Him?
After the first full dress rehearsal, the director really liked my performance, but my weakness is that my performance may be alright now, but during the real day, I would be all nerves and that would be not cool at all.
But my director said something prior to the rehearsals. He said that we are all cracked vessels. None of us are perfect and so we need to let the Holy Spirit fill in the cracks and the gaps.
He was right. It's not my show. It's not about how well I can cry and stifle my voice to imitate a crying voice. It's about serving God and just giving our best to Him. We are not perfect, but God can use the imperfections and make it something totally out of the ordinary.
And I had to sing my lines in phrases so I couldn't take breaths in between words that aren't a phrase. And that was difficult. I had to challenge myself further technically. How do I balance between technical and emotions?
I couldn't do it for the next few final rehearsals so I had to switch the key of the songs, probably exasperating my poor guitarist friend. I still couldn't do it. This was when God provided me with help, in the form of my cell member, who is a professional singer. I have never really talked to her about singing because either my pride was in the way, or what I don't know, but I thought it was awkward to ask about singing techniques and stuff. I didn't think many would be so willing to help. But she did, bless her heart. She gave me some tips, rather, reminded me of the basics which I had already known but have forgotten.
Armed with tips and new strength from God, I could finally do it. Then comes the emotions part again. Finally I surrendered everything to Christ telling Him that He would have to help me on that. Because I know I can't do it on my own.
Again, God works in mysterious ways.
Before the shows on the real day, I prayed that God will use us mightily as vessels for His glory. We've had two performances. One on Saturday and one on Easter Sunday itself.
I didn't do technically well on both days. Sunday was the worst.
Funny when sometimes you pray for God to help to hit the pitch correctly, you'd miss them? Yeah, it was like that. Saturday I was almost outdone by my nerves though it got better. And I knew the emotions were there as well.
But Sunday.
Sunday was a different story. Somehow maybe the day of resurrection itself struck a chord within me, but I was suddenly in a frenzy of emotions. I was feeling teary even before I stepped onto the stage. And so I struggled to control the emotions. But the emotions came flooding out bit by bit, through the unstability of my pitch and then ended off with a total grief. I did not cry nor did tears flow, but my heart was really a mess.
Looking back, I really didn't know what happened except I was reminding myself that I need to color my stanzas. I need to hit the pitch. But the emotions part, really how it came to be, still boggles me. I can only explain that God was working in me as He is working in the hearts of those who listened.
I thought back to the cross when Jesus died, how He died a painful death, for our sins. On Good Friday, He died for our pride, our sins and our selfishness. Then when He was laid in the tomb, it was the finality. Someone who loved us so much, died for us.
When it was time to sing the second song which was about Christ, a risen Savior, I was still reeling from the emotions of the first song. But I had to remind myself that Christ has risen and Christ has overcome. That day I could sing those lyrics true to my heart. Though my pitch failed, though I was technically weaker than Saturday, I could testify that God is truly stronger and that Christ has really overcome.
After the service, many people came up to me and was commenting on how powerful the first song was. I could only credit it back to God. I remember after singing the first round, I murmured a quick confession to God that I wasn't focused on Him but was thinking about my techniques and the coloring of the stanzas. On Saturday I had relied on Him but Sunday it seemed as if I forgot.
And God works in mysterious ways.
I could only say that this experience caused me to acknowledge that He alone deserves the glory. I always believed that with my weakness in my technicalities, God will somehow use me anyway. This gift and these opportunities to sing will always be credited back to God only because without Him, I wouldn't have done it.
So all in all, it's Christ alone. The One who deserves all the glory.
April 03, 2012
Free-falling
Though I would NEVER attempt skydiving due to my fear of heights (the experience would be wasted on me anyway), I do wonder how is it like to free fall. I wonder how does it feel to be totally weightless, yet diving down in high speed with all the preparation in the world, and then none.
Life works that way too sometimes. Sometimes it does feel like I'm free-falling through life without knowing what is ahead. I'm prepared, and I'm totally unprepared.
In skydiving you need to know how and when to pull your chutes. In life, it's the same I suppose. Or do I keep free-falling and wait for His arms to catch me? Will it be too late? Or did He give me two chutes to pull with instructions of how and when to pull?
March 29, 2012
Sara Bareilles
Due to my MadWorld auditions, I was introduced to Sara Bareilles. I've heard her song 'Love Song' on airplay and then I heard 'Gravity' played once on the "older folks" radio channel, but never really got into her. I thought she was another regular pop act.
Then, when I had to sing 'Gravity' for my callbacks, I was hooked, line and sinker into Sara Bareilles.
Got my hand on the 2nd album 'Kaleidoscope Heart' and never looked back.
With my slanted interest towards the lesser known acts, I really like Bareilles' way of writing and composing. She writes with such wit, such eloquence and her melodies are definitely memorable. Her lyrics are vulnerable, raw, yet polished with her melody. There's often that raw honesty to her songs and the way she expresses them that makes her songs resonates deep, even without having going through the same heartache or excitement that she has gone through. Somehow you can identify with her almost completely.
She isn't the most compelling singer (I mean, no one beats Whitney Houston and those legendary divas), but she knows how to hone it to her advantage, hence, she has one of the really beautiful vocals of her genre. I still can't sing her songs without either running out of breath or having choppy timing. Well, they are all techniques, and Bareilles is one that got hers down pat with her self-written songs fitting to a tee, hence her voice fits her songs perfectly and vice versa.
My dream is to be able to sing-songwrite like her. *looks at the piano and sighs
P/S: I really do love her gutsy-ness.
Music video for 'Gonna Get Over You' from her sophomore album 'Kaleidoscope Heart'
One of the best live singers:
AND The song that started it all (from her major-label debut album, 'Little Voice')
Live:
Music video:
SaraB, I love you.
Then, when I had to sing 'Gravity' for my callbacks, I was hooked, line and sinker into Sara Bareilles.
Got my hand on the 2nd album 'Kaleidoscope Heart' and never looked back.
With my slanted interest towards the lesser known acts, I really like Bareilles' way of writing and composing. She writes with such wit, such eloquence and her melodies are definitely memorable. Her lyrics are vulnerable, raw, yet polished with her melody. There's often that raw honesty to her songs and the way she expresses them that makes her songs resonates deep, even without having going through the same heartache or excitement that she has gone through. Somehow you can identify with her almost completely.
She isn't the most compelling singer (I mean, no one beats Whitney Houston and those legendary divas), but she knows how to hone it to her advantage, hence, she has one of the really beautiful vocals of her genre. I still can't sing her songs without either running out of breath or having choppy timing. Well, they are all techniques, and Bareilles is one that got hers down pat with her self-written songs fitting to a tee, hence her voice fits her songs perfectly and vice versa.
My dream is to be able to sing-songwrite like her. *looks at the piano and sighs
P/S: I really do love her gutsy-ness.
Music video for 'Gonna Get Over You' from her sophomore album 'Kaleidoscope Heart'
One of the best live singers:
AND The song that started it all (from her major-label debut album, 'Little Voice')
Live:
Music video:
SaraB, I love you.
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